I am why I can't have nice things

infatuated with an idea, not a person
each second that ticks by making me less and less WANTED...

watch for me, I'll be big news in five years when they finally haul me away to prison

their lust is so easy and cheap, but their love, is clearly not intended for me

sometimes it's really hard to think of anything but suicide, as there is no way this can possibly end well...
not for me, not for "him" either...

("he" isn't real)






("he" never will be)






because I am
too
fucking
OLD.

marquis de light & soft sado-masoch

(viva)

don't want no blue eyes

(la loma)

I want brown eyes

the most precious thing we have
is time

having crossed the barrier into the world of heart-driven thoughts

and actions motivated through a lack of mental clarity

his sweetness, and passion, made for every moment, a supernova
each second a spiraling fractal image of details which all demanded instant attention
and permanent memorization

cake and soymilk

I suppose it's probably ok not to go running if I'm so tired I almost fell asleep while peeing.
Peeing from drinking Red Bull. Clearly I need to reduce my caffeine intake.

Also, I want a tall (5'8"ishhh), Nordic ladyfriend with natural blond hair, cute tiny tits, and 38-40" hips...
and posssssibly freckles

and a cute vagina

warhammer sandwiches

the key to happiness is what you can ignore

but bananas are good too

and playing videogames in the late midmorning is a fine pleasure, since most of my other pleasures have been forcibly stripped from my life

which is a challenge, my trial, but I can ignore it

you're one of them self-hatin' douchebags

Don't know why I bother with any of them. There's no fucking POINT.
(fucking hormones?)
I already know they're all going to behave in the
exact same
predictably shitty way