| so I spit out my own heart, then ground it up into a powder and snorted it.
when you have a lover for so long it's easy to forget about this part.
this part blows.
whatever, I am strong enough to be alone.
|
| |
| And suddenly, the internet became neither a place nor a thing,
and I found my friend who had been hiding behind a continent.
|
| |
| I'm going to wake up, any second now. I'm the bravest person I know.
Time, people, places. . .
Flitting around in my head. |
| |
| I
am
so
fat
fuck anybody who disagrees
next time I hear that shit, I'm gonna poke someone's eye out.
I am so fat I can't sleep at night. my fat keeps me awake, it's itchy.
I want to take off my skin.
|
| |
| As the drug use began to approach critical mass, during the midsummer of last year, I met a decidedly unmysterious young boy. I am quick to sniff out virgins and quickly made him my own.
He was my ladder back down, my escort as it were, bringing me from the land of the endless nights of foggy mind and lack of focus, to embrace reality as much as it is possible to embrace, something so horrid and unfathomably pathetic yet ultimately, hilarious.
BUT. . .
As you know, unmysterious boys have a tendency to become gradually more mysterious. . .
I'm not one to be discouraged. Even by abstinence and inorgasmia.
I am so, so tired of drugs. So tired of drugs.
Weary of chasing the dragon.
I'm gonna smoke some fucking weed.
I'm gonna do some fucking drugs, that's what.
Art is the drug, art is the fucking drug!!!!!!
It's been a year since I've done cocaine.
It's been 26 hours since I've smoked pot.
It just clogs me up. It blocks my hands and stuffs up my brain.
Laxatives can't loosen the bowels of my mind.
I NEED A NEW GODDAMN HIGH.
How `bout UPPERS???
Some goddamn uppers would just melt the extra pounds off.
Oh but you know I jest. Just looking for a place to hide from myself.
Sebastian is such a seducer. . .
|
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